i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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