No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
