Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
