Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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