he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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