Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just want nice things and good sex
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
