I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
