Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize