He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Green mimosas i think yes
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
