the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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