i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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