What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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