I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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