I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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