need another drink. this is the easiest way
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
