do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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