3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
