i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize