So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
