Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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