bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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