i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
i black out too much to be "responsible"
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
