if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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