If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
