Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
