i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
