A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
