is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
