I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
