yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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