so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
