FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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