I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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