Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
