i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm really busy with my period
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