lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
