I bet he comes in French.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
