This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize