Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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