you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
