wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
