i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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