The maid of honor just puked.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
