thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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