Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
