is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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