Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize