Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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