DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
