just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
