apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just want nice things and good sex
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
