meet me or not, i'm out of control
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
