Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Success! We fucked roommates!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
