i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
