i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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