2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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