Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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