No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
