omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
