Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
