She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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