after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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