I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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