And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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