Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
