Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Who died my cat blue again?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
