he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize