talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize