Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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