Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
