Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
it's great music for shaving your balls
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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