why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
