Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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