guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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