Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
