also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
