Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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