I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
