We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize