My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
