You can't special order awesome
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
