clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
